for Latter-day Saints
-- Site to be completed in Winter 2025 --​
Basic principles of healthy partnership for Latter-day Saints, including the psychosocial argument against polygamy
Sections 1-10
Sections 11-20
Sections 21-30
Sections 31-40
Sections 41-50
Sections 51-60
Sections 61-70
Sections 71-80
Sections 81-90
Sections 91-104
1 ~ God established the proper order of marriage & partnership with Adam & Eve ~
2 ~ The proper order of marriage is intended to establish proper equality between a man & woman ~
3 ~ "Isn't God the Father a polygamist?"
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The idea that Heavenly Father is a polygamist began with Brigham Young, not Joseph Smith. The Doctrine and Covenants states,
15 And again, verily I say unto you, that whoso forbiddeth to marry is not ordained of God, for marriage is ordained of God unto man.
16 Wherefore, it is lawful that he should have one wife, and they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation;
17 And that it might be filled with the measure of man, according to his creation before the world was made.
4 ~ God does not change the order of marriage to better suit culture ~
5 ~ The culture of the United States in the 1800s was not more tolerant towards polygamy anyway ~
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6 ~ "Why can't we have any polygamy exceptions? Why not even in really extreme cases?" ~
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7 ~ Polygamy reversal ~
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8 ~ "Who says there isn't equality in polygamy?" ~
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9 ~ "Why can't there be equality in at least some cases of polygamy?" ~
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10 ~ "Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives ~
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11 ~ "I cannot tell a place it does not hurt" ~
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12 ~ "Ye have lost the confidence of your children" ~
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13 ~ Polygamy demographically shown to be harmful to women's health & well-being ~
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14 ~ Polygamy clinically shown to be harmful to children's health & well-being ~
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15 ~ Polygamy demographically seen to be harmful to women's relationships ~
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16 ~ Polygamy demographically seen to be harmful to marital relationships ~
15 ~ Polygamous communities experience higher rates of physical spousal abuse ~
16 ~ Polygamous communities experience higher rates of physical child abuse ~
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17 ~ Polygamous communities experience higher rates of spouse & child neglect ~
18 ~ Brigham Young taught that "the bull is not responsible for the calf" -- polygamist husbands were not required to provide for their wives, even those who had children ~
19 ~ Brigham Young had, according to himself, a "too high to count" number of wives (that he did not provide for) ~
20~ Polygamous communities experience higher rates of child sexual abuse ~
21 ~ The higher rates of crime in polygamy is not only correlative, but also causative ~
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22 ~ A parent's jealous tendencies to not wish children to bond with non-related adults is evolutionarily protective for children ~​
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23 ~ Acceptance of polygamy causes personal harm, even when no polygamy is being practiced ~
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24 ~ Acceptance of polygamy causes societal harm, even when no polygamy is being practiced ~
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25 ~ Women competing against invisible women, Salt Lake City voted "The Most Vain City in America" ~
26 ~ "Who says polygamy necessarily ruins emotional intimacy in marriage?" ~
27 ~ "So long as we are monogamous and reject any idea of polygamy, we have equal partnership, right?" ~
28 ~ Equality as equal access ~
29 ~ Equality as equal agency ~
30 ~ Equality as equal authority ~
42. Priesthood ordination falsely equated to higher authority
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31- 35 ~ Gwendolyn Wyne's sacraments ~
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37. Church leadership position falsely equated to higher authority
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38 ~ Higher academic education falsely equated to higher authority ~
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39 ~ Higher income and greater career advancement falsely equated to higher authority ~​
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40 ~ Equal contributions ~
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41 ~ True signs of strengths, false signs of strengths ~​
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42 ~ The Israelites were commanded to have their oxen be "equally yoked" ~
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43 ~ Whoredoms" in Jacob chapter 2 does not mean 'whores' ~ ~
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44 ~ Inequality of past sealing practices ~
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45. The negative psychosocial effects on children growing up in unequal monogamous homes
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46 ~ Partnership roles ~
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47 ~ Navigating flexibility in partnership roles ~
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48 ~ Respecting roles while respecting individual choice ~
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49 ~ Respective roles means respective work, not respective dictatorship ~
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50 ~ Respective roles requires respective knowledge in those roles ~
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51 ~ "How does a woman fulfill her priestesshood without bearing children?" ~
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53 ~ Viewing gender & hetero non-conformity as a neurodivergent trait ~
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54 ~ Viewing gender & hetero non-conformity as a non-impediment to being a good partner or parent ~
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55 ~ The "curse" of Eve? ~
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56 ~ The false equality of equal military burden ~
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57 ~ The harm of economic oppression on families: dual income as a financial necessity ~
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58 ~ The harm of economic oppression on families: institutionalized & out-sourced childcare as a financial necessity ~
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59 ~ The harm of economic oppression on families: limiting & delaying having children as a financial necessity ~
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63 ~ "Wouldn't denouncing the doctrine of polygamy mean that we'd need to give up the doctrine of Heavenly Mother as well?" ~
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64 ~ "How could we have our official doctrine of Heavenly Mother be redefined in this way if all revealed information we have is from polygamists?" ~
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64 ~ "In whose image was woman created?" ~
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62 ~ "How do we know what a Celestial partnership actually looks like, if we know nothing of Heavenly Mother?" ~
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65 ~ "Isn't Heavenly Mother too sacred for us to be speaking of Her?" ~
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63 ~ Not giving credit where credit is due ~
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64 ~ Those who have applied the instruction of "Ask ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find" to the doctrine of Heavenly Mother ~
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67 ~ Multiple eternal companions was not a feature in patriarchal blessings contemporaneous to Joseph Smith's life ~
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68 ~ Disparity between men vs women regarding the acceptability of polygamy -- negative psychosocial effects on LDS girls ~
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Many LDS women report learning of polygamy as young girls, and remember feeling immediately uncomfortable with the thought. (Mere children intuiting the wrongfulness of it! Imagine that!) Other LDS women who did not learn of Mormon polygamy doctrine until adulthood have expressed feelings of traumatic betrayal once they have learned of it. Many women have reported it to be the greatest challenge to their faith, and many women have reported to have left the church entirely over it, even as young as during their teenage years. What kind of different experiences in the church would girls and women have if they never go through the self-reported fracturing experience of "learning" of polygamy being commanded by God? -- "I wish I could get back all the years that I ever believed in 'divine' polygamy."
69 ~ The gender disparity of polygamy belief -- negative social implications for married members ~
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Many women find that the anti-polygamy evidence immediately rings true and confirms the workings of the Spirit inside their hearts and minds. The gender disparity in which men on average tend to feel much more okay with the idea of polygamy doctrine than women do has in some cases had very great negative effects for married members of the church when the wife begins to question the validity of polygamy as a doctrine. I have personally heard multiple private reports of LDS women facing severe mistreatment from their husbands for studying this topic of polygamy and harboring feelings against it as a principle. If the church does not denounce polygamy, many temple marriages will be lost (not to mention the other male-female family relationships that can be fractured and destroyed by this as well.)
70 ~ The gender disparity of polygamy belief -- negative social implications for priesthood leaders ~
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As one of the principle requirements of becoming a bishop, stake president, or any higher ecclesiastical leader is to be married, church leaders are going to have an increasingly difficult time disciplining members speaking out against doctrinal polygamy as their own wives learn of the evidence surrounding the LDS anti-polygamy movement. A bishop who is receiving pressure from higher-ups to discipline members publicly sharing anti-polygamy evidence is in a very difficult marital position if his own wife has any sympathetic beliefs towards the anti-polygamy narrative herself. If the church were to ever seek to circumnavigate this by changing policy to allow a higher number of church leadership positions be offered to unmarried priesthood holders, then that would directly lead to a lower number of children in the church being born to church leaders -- which would have other undesired repercussions. The current church narrative of polygamy cannot continue if the wives of our church leaders ever cease believing it.
71 ~ The gender disparity of polygamy beliefs -- negative social implications for single men ~
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​One very common and immediate psychosocial effect for an LDS woman, once she has discarded belief in doctrinal polygamy, is that polygamy-believing LDS men are suddenly significantly less attractive to her. This could be considered as having just as strong of an effect, if not more, for very young women who are not many years far removed from having watched princess movies and imagining their own one true love. As the anti-polygamy message reaches ever-younger women in the church, this will have the effect that single men who believe in the church's old narrative will suddenly have less single LDS women who are wishing to date them. -- And if they never marry, then under current church policy they can never serve as a bishop, yet alone any higher church leadership position. An LDS man can of course still serve as a bishop if he has a wife who is not a member of the church -- but women outside the church tend to be repulsed by men who believe in early Mormon polygamy too. If single LDS women collectively cease to believe in the old polygamy narrative, then single LDS men who do still believe it will have a much harder time finding someone who wants to marry them.
72 ~ The negative future social consequences for the LDS church if we continue with the current narrative ~
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Ultimately, it is already too late for the anti-polygamy message to be stopped. It has been immortalized on the internet and attempts to sequester it have led to so-called "Barbara Streisand" effects (in which attempts to remove information or silence individuals have ultimately only brought more attention to the topic.) The online anti-polygamy community now consists of tens of thousands of individuals -- Michelle Stone had some 120,000 subscribers on her pro-monogamy YouTube channel before it was taken down. Somewhat miraculously, on the same morning that Michelle Stone, without any prior notice, announced the removal of her YouTube channel, another unrelated woman-led polygamy channel, "Sisters Not Wives", released its first pre-recorded podcast. It is hosted by two young LDS sisters, one with a history degree, and targets the youngest demographic of any polygamy podcast before it. Many of those researching the anti-polygamy evidence have experienced divine help and guidance in finding previously-unknown sources and information and received heaven-given knowledge and insight, indicating this to all be information that the Lord wishes to be brought forth now. I know the Spirit has urged me to write many of the words I've written on these websites, meaning I can't take credit for them all myself. I know that the Lord will continue to aid those of us who are striving to bring this message to more people, and that should the church continue clinging to the old narrative more miracles will be performed to further our success. The longer the church adheres to the old narrative, the more negative consequences they will incur.
73 ~ Further study, and introducing the neurological argument against polygamy ~
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Many of the psychosocial arguments against polygamy are directly related to and supported by the harmful neurological effects of multi-partner sexuality, which are introduced in the following website linked below titled, "Principles of Sexuality for Latter-day Saints." Further information of the documented psychosocial harm of polygamy, as well as informational resources designed to help individuals heal from the harmful effects of internalized polygamy beliefs, can be found on the Further Study page.
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Also seek confirmation of the truth from the Lord in prayer, as "by the voice of the Spirit ye may know the truth of all things," and as Joseph Smith read, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him."