Historical Monogamy Doctrine

-- Site to be completed by Summer 2025 --

Basic principles of healthy sexuality for Latter-day Saints, including the neurological argument against polygamy

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1 ~ What's the point of having sexual education information written specifically for Latter-day Saints? ~

Historical Mormon polygamy means that Latter-day Saints have in many cases had unique beliefs surrounding human sexuality, and as a result have also in many cases experienced unique kinds of sexual abuse and sexual trauma -- abuse and trauma of a nature that those from other belief systems are less likely to understand well. This history, along with the almost-ubiquitously self-degrading depictions of sexuality in secular media, causes many Latter-day Saints to be ignorant of what a healthy sexual relationship, and what healthy self-regulation of sexuality outside of a relationship, actually looks like.

2 ~ Don't we get everything we need to know about human sexuality from the Latter-day Saint (LDS) Church? ~

Except for a now-discontinued pamphlet encouraging men to avoid engaging in auto-gratification, the LDS church has never published direct information on the topic of human sexual relationships except to teach sexual abstinence before marriage, sexual fidelity after marriage, and avoidance of pornography at all times. Plenty of indirect messages have been given by leaders touting having "love" and "respect" for one's spouse in "intimate" aspects of a marriage. These, however, fall short in properly counteracting harmful modern sexual messages in educating ourselves between what is healthy sexual expression and what is harmful.

3 ~ Don't we know everything else we need to know about sexuality from historical sociological research? ~

Sexual expression outside of marriage has been taught for centuries as being sinful, and, due to fears of sexually-transmitted illnesses (STIs), human populations viewed extra-marital sexuality as dangerous for human health as well. With the advancement of barrier protection, non-abortive contraception options, and modern medicine treatment options for STIs, much of modern society has viewed such monogamous ideals as obsolete and unnecessarily restrictive, and antithetical to the ideals of full human sexual expression. Certain religious groups and individuals have abandoned previously-held ideas of monogamous human sexuality, while increasingly-fewer others have retained the traditional ways of thinking, maintaining that non-monogamous conduct is still sin. Naturalist-based science has taught that sexual expressions are natural, and so are therefore healthy when used in whatever contexts that responsible, consenting adults choose. Religion-based sexual abstinence has been left to be viewed as anti-scientific and obstructive to modern-day human health and wellness. It has been a huge point of lost credibility that religions have not had scientific backing of sexual selectivity being a healthy human practice. Many individuals have lost testimonies of what is right and what is wrong through the false understanding that what is taught as sinful is not congruent with human health.

4. ~ More science, to make things confusing ~

Scientific thought argued all unnecessary sexual retention to be anti-naturalistic -- but then additional scientific research began to come forward, all of it strictly behavioral-based, showing psychosocial patterns that often contradicted the notion of open sexual expression being constructive for human health. The research began to show that men who view pornography were more likely to cheat on their partner, not less. It showed that relationships in which one or both partners were given consent to sexually explore with others were more likely to break up acrimoniously, not less likely. It showed that men who view pornography were many-times more likely to develop erectile dysfunction. And it showed that those who were in "restrictive" monogamous partnerships over decades were often happier and living more contented lives than those who had been practicing free sexual expression with many partners over many years.

As all this behavioral-based research began to come forward, it has been difficult for researchers to reconcile any of it with the principles of natural human sexuality. Free expression of human sexuality is self-reported as being the pinnacle experience in the lives of those who practice it, so why would those with severely more repressed sexuality be leading happy lives at all? Experts have not had any neurological explanation for the behavioral-based research showing this seeming dichotomy of human sexual experience, except for maybe saying that "everyone is different". Religious adherents have indiscriminately attributed any shown benefits related to sexual retention as the blessings of being "spiritual", without any neurologically-based explanation for themselves either.

5 ~ More science to finally make things line up again ~

With more research, more technological advancements, and more evolved scientific understanding of the human brain and neurochemicals, the neurological science is now emerging to provide explanation for the previously-irreconcilable argument of right vs. wrong in human sexuality. In a nutshell, it is this: human orgasm produces addictive after-effects. This is why those who practice open sexuality self-report high levels of fulfillment derived from it, but also why their lives long-term tend to manifest greater instability, more dysfunctional relationships, and, counterintuitive to scientific naturalist thought, poorer emotional wellbeing too.

6. 'How do we know that human orgasm produces addictive after-effects?'

We can now see on a neurochemical level that human orgasm produces an addictive response in the brain. Experiencing orgasm and not suffering some addictive after-effects is as biologically impossible as taking heroin and not suffering some addictive after-effects. Even regardless of the severity of the addictive response, it is an addictive response nonetheless, but orgasm has been shown to be able to have the same level of addictive response as heroin.

7. ‘What is it that causes orgasm to have addictive effects?’

Dopamine is a neurochemical that activates the neurochemical receptors of our brain each time that we engage in activity that produces excitement, enjoyment, or pleasure. When there is a too-high amount of dopamine being activated in the brain, it produces neurological and behavioral effects that are indicative of addictive after-effects. With too much dopamine in the brain, the brain shuts down certain receptors in order to cope with the imbalance, leading to the individual to seek more of the dopamine stimulus a short time later.

Marnie Robinson is a sexual relationship expert who spent 15 years writing her book, "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow" on the topic of human orgasm causing addictive effects and, when experienced on a continuous long-term basis, more harmful to individual and relationship health than non-orgasmic intimacy. Her neurochemical explanation of the addiction cycle and how it applies to human sexuality can be read in this excerpt of her book,

Addiction has been carefully studied and it is tied to a change in receptor quantity. Let's use cocaine addiction as an example. Cocaine causes a massive spike of dopamine and blocks its removal from the synapse. (Dopamine is a neurochemical related to reward and addiction - as well as sexual desire.) The synapse is flooded, which produces a prolonged excited state. This is too much of a good thing. The receiving nerve cells say, "Enough is enough!" If someone screams at you, you cover your ears. Nerve cells accomplish this by getting rid of dopamine receptors, which paradoxically can make you seek even more stimulation....

With repeated use of cocaine, dopamine receptors decrease and cells become less sensitive to dopamine. For the cocaine user this means that no matter how much dopamine his brain makes, it will not be enough to fully activate the circuitry that makes him feel good. Simply put, too little electricity is flowing through the circuit. (Think of a flashlight with fading batteries.) ...

These changes occur in the centerpiece of the mammalian brain, in an ancient pathway known as the reward circuitry. It evolved to push our ancestors to repeat behaviors that encouraged their survival - and the passing on of their genes. Our reward circuitry is small, but mighty. It drives us to eat, drink, take risks, pursue romance, and especially to make babies.... The pathway starts above the brainstem, passes through key centers of our mammalian brain, and ends at the front of our rational brain.

Marnie Robinson, "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow", pp 90-91. 2009.

8. ‘Is this calling everyone who is currently practicing orgasm-based sex an addict?'

No, because "experiencing addictive after-effects" is not nearly the same thing as "being an addict", in the same way that binging on sugar and experiencing a subsequent sugar high and sugar crash does not necessarily make someone a sugar addict. It is only when the amount, frequency, and dosage duration of a stimulant reach a certain threshold that markers of a clinical addiction are produced. This threshold varies from individual to individual. Genetic factors have been shown to make certain individuals more susceptible to developing addictions. Trauma and other adverse life experiences have been shown to increase the likelihood of developing addictions as well, making the addiction threshold lower for these individuals than for others.

9. ‘How can something as natural as orgasm become addictive like those other examples?'

Being that heroin, cocaine, tobacco, alcohol, and even sugar addiction all occur from external chemical substances, it can be counter-intuitive to see orgasm as being able to cause an addictive effect when no substance is entering the body. But we now understand that human addiction is not isolated to only substance-use disorders, as gambling, shopping, video games, -- even stealing (kleptomania) and setting fires (pyromania) -- (both of which have been added to the DSM-5 list of Impulse Control Disorders) also induce the same set of addiction-based behaviors.

10 ~ In a field of its own ~

While orgasm is not an experience induced by external substances, it still cannot be equated to other behavior-based thrills due to the unique set of neurochemicals that are released by the body in response to orgasm. In women, many of these released neurochemicals aid in facilitating fertilization and survival of an embryo, and for men many of the released neurochemicals aid in rejuvenating sperm stores. In both men and women, there is an initial surge of dopamine and other feel-good neurochemicals, with a corresponding crash, and then a temporary fluctuation of high-and-low periods of various hormones and other neurochemicals as the body regains equilibrium. This high-and-low fluctuation period lasts for approximately two weeks, with some of the more pronounced effects still liable to emerge towards the end of the two-week period. The visual below (that is not a graph based on clinical measurements, but is shown in order to only visually portray this effect) is included here:

11 'What is it that the addictive after-effects actually are?'

The neurochemical after-effects of orgasm will inevitably lead to a "sexual hangover", however noticeable. The only way to avoid this withdrawal is to put it off by pre-emptively engaging in more sexual climax -- which many people do, regularly ensuring that they do not go longer than a set period between climaxes in order to avoid all of the more latent after-effects. The neurochemical-caused sexual hangover effects include: depression, shame, anxiousness, overstimulation, low motivation, irritability, a need for more sexual orgasm, a need for other addictive outlets, and decreased interest in one's partner.

12. ‘What about for people who are spiritually-minded though?'

This all means that men who are simultaneously sexually involved with multiple partners, like in polygamy, will experience many-times higher addictive effects than those who only have one wife, especially when that polygamy is being practiced for the purpose of impregnation to "raise up seed" (as it would imply that the main type of sexual intimacy being sought is fertilization-driven sex). Polygamy allows for a greater development of potential sex addiction than even serial monogamy with multiple women throughout one's life, not only due to higher average frequency of sex but also due to what will be explained as the heightened dopamine effects of novelty, variety, and risk. It has been argued that Mormon polygamy was only permitted for the most righteous, spiritual, and God-fearing of men and so they would not be affected by any otherwise compromising lust of the natural man, but to suggest that men of a high spiritual caliber can practice polygamy over their lives and not experience lustful addictive effects is as unreasonable as suggesting they can take heroin regularly without becoming addicted -- it's not an argument that emerging neurological science can give even partial consideration to.

13 ~ The natural man ~

Sexual climax primarily activates the mammalian brain involved with survival and base instincts, not the rational higher-order brain involved with love, care, and higher human emotion. This was beneficial to the survival of our species in earlier evolutionary times as it promoted frequent sex, but directly interferes with the drive of the higher-order rational brain for long-term attachment and fidelity. That we all have a "natural man" nature in ourselves that we are meant to subject to the will of God and our spiritual selves is explained in scripture,

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

Mosiah 3:19

14 ~ "It can twist your values without your conscious awareness." ~

Robinson asserts that the reward circuitry of the brain can be powerful enough to interfere in the rational-based thought processes of our higher order brain, leading to a warped perception in which self-destructive behavior or behavior that directly harms others can be believed as being justified or even good. In her words, the reward circuitry "can twist your values without your conscious awareness." p. 92

15 ~ Polygamy cannot be argued as being a higher law that we just don't understand ~

Historically and to the present day, many men have felt okay with the idea of polygamy, whereas a higher number of women generally have not. Certain individuals have asserted that if women are more selfless, considerate of the greater good, and overcome perceived jealous oversensitivity, then they would feel okay with polygamy too, asserting that willingness towards polygamy is a sign of greater faith whereas repulsion toward it is stemmed from lesser faith. As desire for sexual climax, most especially with multiple people, activates the baser levels of our brain involved with reckless indulgence and compulsion, it can now be neurologically asserted that it is in fact those who promote polygamy who are speaking from a more debasing plane of thought.

16 ~ Novelty, variety, and risk ~

Dopamine does not only drive us to seek a higher level of stimulatory experience, but also a wider variety of it -- the more novel the experience the better. This is why having a higher number of sex partners leads to a higher rush of dopamine, even in the hypothetical scenario of a polygamous man only having sex as often as a man who is living monogamously. This drive of our reward circuity to have multiple sex partners (particularly for men to have multiple women), was an evolutionary advantage to produce children with as much genetic variety as possible, increasing the chances of the survivability of one's genetic material.

This evolutionary drive evolved to be highly opportunistic, acting on sexual opportunities as they present themselves even if one was not being actively sought out. Dopamine-driven behavior is often impulsive, reactionary, and without any tempering effects from the rational brain, either to consider the best interest of oneself or the best interest of others.

17 ~ Early Mormon polygamy was high-risk ~

The "risk" part of "novelty, variety, and risk" with regards to dopamine is that high-risk behavior and situations lead to a higher sense of excitement, which triggers a greater release of dopamine, even if the corresponding behavior or situation is highly detrimental or with very undesirable potential consequences. Early Mormon polygamy was an extremely high-risk practice, as open adultery was punishable by law, punishable by the church established by Joseph Smith, punishable by the societal and cultural norms of the time, and could "ruin" the reputation of a man or woman indefinitely. This would suggest that those who were practicing it would have likely derived higher dopamine effects from it than, for example, someone who was secularly practicing multi-partner sex today. This fact, that practicing extra-marital sex carried so many risks, could have significantly heightened whatever addictive after-effects were experienced by the early church leaders who practiced it, and could have done more to accelerate the development of addictive tendencies than what would have been otherwise experienced.

18 ~ Whether alone, or with someone else ~

This development of understanding regarding the addictiveness of human orgasm means that it applies to auto-gratification as well as to sex with someone else. The LDS church discontinuing the distribution of the masturbation-avoidance pamphlet has in the years since led to some members believing that all past anti-masturbation sentiment was a mistake, or that it is up to personal interpretation and discretion, and that there is no defined right-or-wrong answer as to whether it is sinful or not. With the discontinuation of the pamphlet, LDS members will continue to argue in the vacancy of current church teachings as to whether auto-gratification is sinful, but the science cannot be argued with: human orgasm, even when alone, produces an addictive response in the brain that long-term can have very undesirable effects on health and wellbeing.

18 ~ Viewing pornographic films produces an addictive response as well ~

Neurological studies have shown that the same or similar parts of the brain that are activated when doing a certain activity oneself can be activated when viewing that activity being done by someone else -- even for something as mundane as standing up or sitting down on a chair. This includes viewing pornographic activity, which means that viewing pornographic films, even without any subsequent sexual stimulation of one's own body, also produces addictive effects. Pornographic films are specifically designed to be addictive, and are objectively so -- it is not a matter of will-power. Many have ventured to experiment with porn viewing, telling themselves that they are "strong" enough to watch a bit and not suffer from the addictive effects of it that are experienced by others, but ultimately the degree to which one neurologically experiences an addicted response has nothing to do with willpower at all. As explained by Robinson, the rational brain is not able to reject or undo any addictive stimuli received by the mammalian brain.

19 ~ Pornographic images and sexual fantasies also produce addictive effects.

Neurological studies have also shown that the same or similar parts of the brain that are activated when doing a certain activity are activated when thinking about doing that activity. This is the same for entertaining sexual fantasies in one's head, meaning that such thoughts are addictive to the brain as well and means that it applies to viewing so-called "ethical porn" too. This all gives neurological validation to Christ's words when he said, "Whomsoever looketh upon a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery already in his heart." Due to modern-day pornographic films and images offering an endless array of novelty of women, variety of women, and risky sex-based circumstances, Robinson refers to the pornography we have available not just as sexual stimulation but as an extreme form of superstimulation, making the addictive after-effects of porn viewing potentially many-times stronger than that of being in a monogamous sexual relationship.

20 ~ Historical & doctrinal polygamy has been used to justify emotional affairs, pornography use, and sexual fantasies ~

Being that Mormon polygamous weddings were only discontinued under legal threat, many have believed that the practice of polygamy will be reinstated once there are no legal repercussions. Addicts are often quick to seek moral justification to fully satisfy their cravings (and Robinson explains that their reward circuitry is more-than willing to provide them with rationalization), and historical Mormon polygamy gives ample precedence for modern LDS members to more easily find such justification.

21 ~ Partner objectification and de-humanization ~

Whereas other addictions involve substances (or solo activities like gambling and screen use), addiction to sex (unless you only participate in solo masturbation and porn viewing), necessarily involves another person in order to be satisfied. In sexual relationships this all-too-often leads to partner objectification and de-humanization as their body is the "fix" to one's addictive cravings. This could be argued as occurring just as often in conservative religious contexts in which spouses see their partners as their only "allowed" source of frequent sexual climax, and so these individuals may feel even more particularly sexually entitled to their partner's body.

22 ~ There is no "need" when it comes to human orgasm ~

While sex drives do vary between genders and even from person-to-person, there is no "need" for anyone to experience orgasm at any level of frequency. Robinson explains the neurological science arguing that sex drives are better understood as variable "urges" rather than a "need". Human intimacy needs stem from the oxytocin derived from inter-human touch and connection, and not the dopamine derived from sexual climax. The release of oxytocin in the brain like what is experienced from slow hugging, kissing, cuddling, and massage, are indeed strong needs that, for optimal human health, must be received on a very regular basis even from infancy. The dopamine rush and subsequent crash of sexual climax has little part of our human need for high oxytocin, and can be even considered detrimental to balanced oxytocin levels.

23 ~ Bait & Switch ~

A false understanding of having sexual needs does in many cases lead to the degradation of the health of a relationship that may very well have been otherwise healthy before sex occurred. For many people this can look like a bait-and-switch, as one's partner can in many cases unintentionally act very differently after sex was introduced into the relationship as they had before, all due to unavoidable after-effects of sexual climax.

For some partners this false understanding leads to an actual bait-and-switch on their part, as after gaining the partner as a "sexual conquest" they can near-immediately lose motivation to treat him or her as well as they did before, even marking the beginning of seeing them as an objectified fix to one's supposed needs for orgasm. For some partners, being legally married and not just in a cohabiting relationship, can add further to this sense of entitlement. For some husbands, a wife being financially dependent on him can add further to his feelings of entitlement to sex. And for many partners, being sealed in the temple to one's spouse — in which their spouse will be under spiritual condemnation for leaving without serious cause — can add to these feelings of entitlement further. Which is all a horrible thing to ponder on — that a life-long commitment, being fully provided for, and an eternal covenant can all lead to a spouse feeling *more* entitled than anyone else to have desires for orgasm met, and treating their spouse even more objectively as a result, not less. Certain men use further "works of righteousness" to "earn" more sex out of their wife. The idea that more righteousness should earn a man more sex is perhaps the very worst kind of works-based-faith. But it is works-based-faith that is directly reinforced by historical polygamy, in which the highest-level church leaders always had the most (and, in relation to themselves, the youngest) wives, and justified this by stating themselves to be more faithful and deserving than men without a church leadership position.

24. 'What are you saying healthy long-term sexuality looks like then?'

25. 'What does affection-focused sexuality look like?'

26. Mate-bonding in the form of affectionate touch was taught to be used by couples practicing non-ejaculatory intercourse, now usually what is called Karezza sex.

27. 'What is Karezza sex?'

28 ~ Practicing affection-focused sexual expression aids in the development and reinforcement of healthy impulse control ~

29 ~ Not all orgasms are alike ~

Not every kind of orgasm releases the same ratio of neurochemicals, as there is a wide variation in how much oxytocin is released depending on the specific sexual activity. Orgasm through intercourse with a known, trusted companion produces more oxytocin than intercourse with a stranger, and it also produces more oxytocin than masturbation. Having a great deal of loving affection beforehand also produces more oxytocin in the body than quick over-and-done-with orgasmic intercourse. When there is a higher amount of oxytocin released before, during, and after orgasm, the dopamine released in the brain is necessarily less concentrated, which tempers the addictive after-effects on the body that can be caused by dopamine overstimulation. While all orgasmic climax comes with addictive after-effects, the after-effects are arguably less intense with loving intercourse with a monogamous partner than with masturbation, casual sex, utilitarian sex, rough sex, or sex with many partners.

30 ~ Oxytocin has been shown to ease addictive cravings & addictive after-effects

The after-effects of orgasm can also be tempered by performing oxytocin-inducing actions during the weeks of one's sexual hangover. The tempering effects of increased oxytocin have even been shown as lessening the intensity and duration of addictive cravings. This has been shown to be the case not just for behavioral compulsions (like gambling and gaming) but also for substance use disorders (like drug and tobacco use), and it applies to sexual cravings and urges as well. Many addiction experts, like Gabor Mate in "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts', have gone so far as to argue that addiction disorders themselves are stemmed from emotional dysregulation resulting from either trauma or from general 'lack of love and care' (on a neurological level, suggesting extreme or chronic lack of oxytocin -- optimal oxytocin levels cannot be achieved when under the psychological effects of a fight-or-flight state of trauma.) The understanding that higher oxytocin can mitigate addictive cravings, initial addictive effects, as well as addictive after-effects, means that those who are hoping to suffer from less addictive effects in their lives can take preemptive steps to plan oxytocin-inducing activities both before and at the times that they expect to be suffering the greatest cravings and other withdrawal symptoms.

31 ~ Sexual retention also taught in certain ancient records ~

While LDS church leaders have never shown awareness of potential adverse after-effects of sexual climax, it has appeared in ancient Eastern texts, it which it was taught that men should "retain the lifeforce" of their seed in order to therefore experience higher spiritual benefits.

32. Semen retention prevents low testosterone in men

33. Affection-focused sexuality removes sexual performance-related anxiety, as it is relaxation-based not performance-based

34. 'What is human orgasm for then?'

Sexual climax is, on a biochemical level, advantageous for conception. Many of the neurochemicals released in a woman after orgasm are beneficial in the fertilization and protection of an embryo.

35 ~ Don't conceiving couples suffer from the same physiological after-effects as couples who aren't trying to conceive? ~

Yes, and so the naturally-occurring after-effects of sexual climax like irritation and altered mood need to be planned for and mitigated for couples trying to conceive. For some couples this may involve a certain degree of temporary isolation from eachother, in terms of taking more personal space, whether that be more emotional space or physical space or both. But post-conception distancing can be considered protective to a couple's developing embryo — by being less physically close with one's partner, a woman will be exposing herself (and thereby the embryo) to a lesser number of pathogens, which are especially threatening to a developing embryo in the first period after conception. We also know that added stress experienced by the mother can induce harm, even fatal harm, to a developing embryo as well, and so devoting the period after conception for added self-care, self-introspection, and other self-attention in a period of brief separation from the stresses of life and other relationships can be considered the healthiest thing for a mother to do. In fact, the nausea experienced by most women during pregnancy (which is especially strong during the first trimester when a fetus is most vulnerable) is perhaps a protective evolutionary mechanism to force a woman into mandatory isolation and rest. Pregnancy-hormone-related anger may be serving this effect as well — feeling angry is a huge motivator for women to stay away from others and focus on self-care. As post-conception distancing is protective to embryo development, couples can intentionally use this time apart to regain their personal equilibrium of emotion, while at the same time engaging in whatever oxytocin-promoting behavior they feel amenable to.

36. ~ A man's sperm has evolved to not only compete with themselves, but to also compete with other men's sperm.

37 ~ Balancing men & women's sex drives ~

The disparity of sex drive between men and women has often been pointed to as evidence for polygamy being a superior order of marriage. If one wife becomes sexually burned out by trying to satisfy her husband's sex drive, doesn't that indicate that another wife should be added? The second wife can give the first wife a bit of a sexual break, and the husband gets more of the sex that his sex drive wants! Everyone's happy, right? Right?

Of course not. But the high-oxytocin release of Karezza can do a very significant amount to help balance the otherwise-largely-unequal sex drives between a man and woman. Men have on average ten- to twenty-times more high octane testosterone than women, which can contribute to a much greater urge and desire for sex. Practices like Karezza that induce high oxytocin help a man's high sex drive feel sexually fulfilled in a leveled-out and calm state, and at the same time, that same high oxytocin can make a woman feel much more sexually responsive to her partner, leading to a more balanced union of the sexes than what is usually found from sex that is seeking orgasm. High oxytocin produces a strong positive feedback loop, as its presence in one partner induces more acts of care and service towards the other partner, raising the other partner's oxytocin levels as well. Oxytocin is increased both by giving care and by receiving care. This positive feedback loop of oxytocin has been observed in non-human primates as well. In the pair-bonded monkeys studied, the highest oxytocin levels were found within pairs -- meaning that the monkeys who had the highest oxytocin levels were all paired with eachother. There were no high-oxytocin monkeys who were found to be paired with a low-oxytocin mate. Their oxytocin levels were also shown to be correlated to high-care behavior, as the monkeys with the highest oxytocin levels were found to be engaging in significantly more grooming and other touch with their pair-bonded mates than the other pairs were.

38 ~ Historical & doctrinal polygamy has been used to justify physical affairs ~

39 ~ Infidelity is a potential threat to the life of partners and any unborn and nursing children ~

Ultimately, our "natural man" method of mating with many partners is destructive -- and not just spiritually or neurochemically, but also virulently, Sexually transmitted illnesses can kill. Even one encounter is enough to lead to the death of one's partner, the death of a mother's unborn child, the death of a nursing child, and can also leave a woman permanently sterile. (Sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy, and breastfeeding) A partner being unfaithful to their spouse often emotionally feels like a life-or-death thing to the spouse, as it traditionally was in many cases (and still is a literal life-or-death concern without the timely treatment of modern medicine.)

40 ~ High oxytocin is protective to fidelity ~

Under the effects of an oxytocin-based bond, men and women do not experience an overall heightened desire for sex, but a heightened desire for intimacy towards the one they are bonded to. Oxytocin is not indiscriminate like dopamine is; it's effect is targeted, isolated, selective. The more bonded in oxytocin you are towards your partner, the more you desire your partner, and the less likely you will feel a sexual pull towards anyone else. Heightened levels of oxytocin have even been shown to distort perceived levels of attractiveness towards one partner -- that is, feeling a high oxytocin bond towards someone has been shown to alter how attractive we view them to be, for the better. Together with the information that oxytocin tempers sexual cravings/urges in general, high oxytocin promotes fidelity to a partner in more ways than one.

41 ~ High oxytocin cannot tolerate "sharing" ~

The oxytocin bond seen in those in love is a similar oxytocin bond that occurs between parent and child. Interestingly, spraying oxytocin into a mother rat's brain can make her simultaneously more caring towards her young and more aggressively protective of them. This may seem contradictory at first glance, but if we know that oxytocin is a bonding hormone then we can understand that it's role is not only to promote behaviors encouraging the bond, but also to promote any behavior needed to attack anything threatening that bond.

Can we see a similar phenomenon between a husband and wife? Could a wife's intense feelings of despair, anger, and betrayal towards a husband's straying to other women -- whether digital straying, emotional affairs, or polygamous desires -- be seen as evidence of her bond to him, rather than evidence of her being unreasonably jealous or overreactive? Does an understanding of the role of an oxytocin bond not give more evidence to the argument that families are meant to be composed of parents who are monogamous, with no additional partners for the wife or husband? That this was always meant to be the case, and always will be?

42 ~ Oxytocin receptors increase as they are fed ~

A too-high level of stimuli causes dopamine receptors to be overstimulated, and some of them then shut down completely in order to accommodate -- creating a "need for more" when intaking that same stimulant later. Inducing higher levels of oxytocin in the brain, however, actually causes the brain to create more oxytocin receptors in future in order to accommodate the increase. This is the "when love is received or given, love is grown" effect. Whenever one's sense of love towards another is diminished or lost, oxytocin receptors decrease, presumably in order to allow for the functioning survival of the individual. It's theorized that when a high number of oxytocin receptors are suddenly not being activated, a great deal of emotional pain and distress is felt, which can directly interfere with an individual's emotional balance, executive functioning, and even will to live. The brain reducing the amount of oxytocin receptors present, even though doing so will lead to the individual experiencing lower capacity or drive to show and receive love, aids in the continued survival and functioning of the individual. The effect of the brain adding or reducing the amount of oxytocin receptors present appears to always be reversible, though unresolved trauma has the ability to interfere.

43 ~ Many couples have switched to affection-focused sexuality and experienced significant benefit ~

Many couples who have transitioned to non-orgasm-based sexuality like Karezza have reported experiences that suggest an extremely high oxytocin state. Certain couples tell of entering otherworldly bliss in which they feel one with their partner and the universe in ways they have never experienced before, feeling a degree of what they describe as purity of love that they deem to be beyond themselves and their existence -- all despite not feeling the intensity of a climatic orgasm (or perhaps in part because they are not feeling any dopamine intensity of a climatic orgasm.) It is important to note that men appear to be just as likely as women to enjoy the effects of affection-based intercourse so much that they do not wish to revert back to their past orgasm-based sexual practices.

44 ~ A woman's emotional regulation is on a long-term basis often incompatible with frequent orgasm-based sex ~

It is true that women tend to have deeper emotional limbic systems, and men tend to have higher sex drives. This has led to many-a-husband seeking to control his wife's moods, either directly or indirectly, through withholding upsetting information, lying, minimization or polite dismissal of his wife's feelings, all in order to try to keep her in a mood conducive and willing to still meet his perceived needs for sexual orgasm. Some who have a wife with emotional health problems interfering with frequent sexual intercourse seek to encourage mood-altering medication solely to get her to have a higher sex drive. The proper solution is for both men and women to understand that there is no such need for orgasm — for anyone, anywhere, at any time of life — and that individuals would be serving their own health and their spouse's best interest by not feeling guilted into giving in to even desperately aggressive requests for orgasm if one does not feel wanting to reciprocate.

45 ~ Never enough ~

Like all other addictive substances or practices, one of the after-effects of sexual climax is to want more sexual climax a short time later -- and same with all other addictive substances and practices, the body and brain create a dopamine tolerance to it over time, creating a need to have ever-higher doses in order to achieve the same level of satisfaction as experienced initially. In drug users, this looks like wanting increasingly higher amounts of the drug or in a more pure form. In those experiencing the effects of sex addiction, it looks like wanting sex and porn increasingly often, wanting sex and porn that is increasingly rough and impersonal, wanting sex with an increasingly higher number of partners, and, ultimately, wanting sex and porn with an increasingly lower age of individuals. Speaking of child sexual assault material, one expert wrote, "It's only ever a matter of time before they [porn viewers] go younger." Whether the extent of one's addiction ever progresses quickly enough to reach illicit or illegal extremes or not, it remains true that any activity involving sexual climax invokes an addictive response, and long-term there is no "favorable" or "healthy" level of addiction to be continually living with, however benign or inconsequential one might think it to be. This increasing need of sexual explicitness in order to stimulate addictive satisfaction is also the reason why porn users experience higher rates of erectile dysfunction.

46 ~ Sexual addiction can begin to develop within monogamous marriage ~

The fact that it is sexual climax that induces the progression of sexual addiction means that sex addiction can foment within monogamous marriage, even without any other present or historical viewing of pornography, without the presence of other sexually explicit media, and in individuals without any pre-marital sexual contact. It also means that the more a couple engages in sexual climax, the more likely a partner's threshold of sex addiction will be reached. This flies in the face of the teachings of certain sex therapists and other relationship experts who have long-asserted that regular sexual climax for both partners in a relationship is most likely to produce the healthiest and happiest relationship outcomes. In addition to seeking sexual climax on an ever-increasing bases, a partner in the grip of sexual addiction might begin to request sex acts that are antithetical to romance, gentle affection, and a well-developed sense of decency.

47 ~ Timetable of temporary addictive after-effects ~

As length of time that the addictive after-effects of orgasm last for seem to have some variation, but appear to be about two weeks. Those who struggle to resist auto-gratification can be reassured that the undesirable neurochemical after-effects will likely not last longer than this time, even if they continue to be strong up to this time. (The after effects will often fluctuate by the day, and as noted previously some of the strongest effects can be experienced just before the end of the two-week period.) Those two weeks can be spent with introspective study as to what feelings come up or are triggered, as unresolved emotional issues are especially susceptible to trigger a relapse during this time. (The proper treatment of sexual hangover can be to expend extra time afterwards devoted to proper emotional regulation, an increase of non-sexual self-care of the body, exploring any feelings that become triggered during this time, and reconnecting to one's spiritual outlets to help return back to emotional balance.)

48. The emotions brought on by after-effects are temporary and distorted

Post-orgasm depression, low self esteem, lowered self-confidence, and shame is a brain-based response and is not an indication of one's self-worth, even though it can directly affect one's perception of self-worth. Those who struggle to cease practicing auto-gratification should remember that the post-orgasm feelings of low self esteem and self confidence should not be used for self-deprecation, but be used as motivation to aim for more efficient self-management of urges. Adolescents who struggle resisting urges of self-gratification should be reassured that difficulties tend to lessen throughout adulthood.

49 ~ The addictive after-effects of orgasm can be emotionally harmful to relationships ~

When the irritable, depressive, and other after-effects of orgasm are not properly recognized as stemming from a sexual hangover, it can cause one to view one's partner as irritating, disappointing, or otherwise unsatisfactory. Expressing such feelings can cause one's partner to view oneself as nit-picky, high-demand, or otherwise unloving. If both partners are experiencing sexual hangovers at the same time, then these effects can all be compounded upon themselves. Even when someone does not tie one's mood to something their partner has or has not done, they can still nevertheless end up concluding that something feels "wrong" with the relationship or that their partner just isn't the "right person" for them. It's perfectly understandable why someone would conclude that a relationship isn't right for themselves if conflicting feelings consistently show up shortly after having sex with their partner, but couples who experience this might perhaps not have any of those feelings if they switch to "hangover-free" sex.

50 ~ The after-effects of orgasm neurologically encourages finding new mates ~

The addictive after-effects of orgasm lead to less faithful partners and relationships, not more faithful.

51 ~ The Coolidge Effect ~

52 ~ A sex addict has sex on the mind more often than what is healthy, and makes relationships and lives with partners more sex-focused than what it should be ~

53 ~ Brigham Young involved and conflated sex, especially multi-partner sex (polygamy) with several doctrines & beliefs ~

Polygamy being necessary for exaltation
Heavenly Father being a polygamist
Eve being only one of Adam's wives
Virginity being the woman's glory
Taking a woman's virginity being of a man's glory
Lot married to his daughters
Sisters can be married to brothers
Heavenly Father being married to Mother Mary
Heavenly Father and Mother Mary conceiving Christ by "natural action" (meaning by sex, and that there was no virgin birth)
Monogamist men will have their wife taken in the hereafter to be given to a polygamist man
Polygamist men not able to receive the proper blessings unless they consummate marriages with plural wives and try to impregnate them
Polygamist women not able to receive the proper blessings unless they consummate marriages with their husband and let him try to impregnate them
Monogamy being evil
Polygamy creating more righteous and healthy children

54 ~ One marker of progressed addiction is an addict undertaking efforts to create a secure life-long supply for themselves, which has obvious implications when it comes to early Mormon polygamy ~

55 ~ Brigham Young exhibiting more territorial behavior over his wives than even James Cochran ~

In Cochranite polygamy, both men and women were, with permission, allowed to take multiple sexual partners, whereas Brigham Young stated that if any wife of his were to commit adultery with another man he would immediately kill both of them himself.

56 ~ Brigham Young exhibited more sexually controlling behavior than ethically-practicing sex addicts ~

In our current modern world there are those who are self-proclaimed sex addicts, who openly admit to being addicted to hyper sexual behaviors and who choose to embrace it rather than overcome it. Many of these individuals choose to only participate in what is considered "ethical" sexual encounters: namely only with other adults in informed, honest, consenting, and non-manipulative circumstances, and without making promises of commitment that they would not be able to keep. Such openly-accepting sex addicts live principles that are against the practices of early Mormon polygamy leaders, who threatened women with death if they strayed, who taught that polygamy is necessary for the highest degree of heaven, that women who do not accept it will be destroyed, that men who do not practice it will have their families taken from them, and who fabricated the words of God and others to say that it was commanded. Even by the standards of these sex addicts, the sexually coercive behaviors of Brigham Young and other early Mormon church leaders is regarded as predatory and despicable.

57 ~ Moral disgust is protective to our morality ~

Disgust is one of the five most basic human emotions. It protects us from substances and people that would be harmful to us. Moral disgust is what we feel towards actions that are objectively harmful to ourselves and to others like ourselves. Moral disgust activates the same regions of the brain that are activated by the sight of rotten food, or by the close proximity of those who are infectiously sick. The neurological expression of moral disgust is so similar to that of poison or illness that it can physically induce vomiting. The Lord God expressed moral disgust in more than one verse of scripture:

A woman's disgust towards polygamy is a valid emotional response that does not need to be mitigated. Honoring the full spectrum of healthy human emotion necessitates us to make allowance for others' feelings of disgust towards morally sick individuals.

58 ~ Cross-tolerances ~

59 ~ Brigham Young exhibited behavior of substance addiction as well ~

One of the clinical markers of sex addiction is a propensity to have dependence on other addictive substances or behaviors as well, certain signs of which we can see in Brigham Young.

60 ~ Regular sexual climax can interfere with one's spiritual connection ~

LDS church president Russel M. Nelson recently stated that "any addiction" keeps us from living our highest spiritual potential. Even in cases in which behavior has not reach the threshold of being an addiction, an old adage is still applicable: "In every person there is a natural man and a spiritual man, and the one who will be the strongest is the one that you feed most."

61 ~ High dopamine also plays a part in domineering behavior ~

Another reward circuitry effect that Robinson explains high dopamine has is that of domineering behavior, in which an individual is driven to seek a dopamine rush from "besting" others and gaining "big wins" over them to be at the top. (pg 93) This dopamine-driven behavior inevitably comes at the cost of charity, kindness, respectful relationships, and viewing others as yourself, which has many implications regarding those who established polygamy within Mormonism, like Brigham Young -- who publicly bragged about having more wives than any other man in the church.

62 ~ Markers of excess, healthy, and deficient levels of dopamine ~

63 ~ It is oxytocin and dopamine that causes couples to fall in love, dopamine itself can only cause a fleeting in-lust effect ~

64 ~ Unintentional orgasm during Karezza is to be expected sometimes ~

65 ~ Birth control & Karezza ~

While the Karezza Method was initially put forward in part as a method of birth control and female empowerment, unintentional ejaculation and pre-ejaculate mean that it is not by itself a reliable method of birth control, and must still be used with other birth control methods in order to give the best chance of avoiding unintentional pregnancy. Barrier methods of birth control like the male condom, female condom, and diaphragm have often been disregarded in favor of hormonal options that produce a higher success rate of avoiding pregnancy. — But the exclusive and successful use of the Karezza Method means a lower and less frequent presence of ejaculate, making barrier contraception more effective than when it is used during orgasm-seeking sex. In addition to this aspect, one not-uncommon point of potential "failure" of barrier birth control is for it to slip out of place during sex, which is also arguably much less likely to occur during the slow, gentle movements of Karezza than during vigorous ejaculatory sex.

66 ~ Conventional teachings on sexuality have led many women to subject themselves to harmful side effects ~

The teaching that regular sexual climax most often produces the best relationship outcomes and can help prevent men from straying has led many couples to resort to long-term use of female hormonal birth control in order to avoid the high risk of unwanted pregnancy that comes from frequent ejaculatory sex. These hormonal methods take the form of estrogen pills, shots, patches, creams, and implants. An incomplete list of the potential side effects that these methods of contraception include is:

Weight gain
Venous thromboembolism
Neoplasm
Loss of libido
Haemorrhage
Change in blood pressure
Migraines
Hirsuitism
Skin problems (acne)
Swelling
Mood swings
Nausea/vomiting
Bloating/edema
Hypertension
Breast tenderness & pain
Heavy menstrual flow
Leukorrhea
Amenorrhea
Delayed fertility, difficulty conceiving

Vaginal dryness
Fatigue
Depression
Spotting (meaning small amounts of vaginal bleeding)
Vaginal yeast infections
Increased risk of stroke and blood clots
Possible increased rick of breast cancer
Can cause injury to those with acute liver disease
Rare hepatic adenoma
Application site reaction
Abdominal pain
Increased risk of kidney stones
Increased risk of heart attack
Local injection reactions
Bone density loss
Delayed return of fertility
Increased risk of nutrient deficiencies
Increased risk of cancers

While there are certain medical and situational circumstances that can make prescribed hormonal contraception a desired choice for many women, our Father in Heaven does not wish for His daughters to subject their bodies to harmful side effects solely to more easily-and-frequently sexually please men.

67 ~ Many couples have consciously limited the number of children they've chosen to have in order to better ensure that the wife on a long-term basis continues to have enough energy for frequent conventional sex with her husband ~

68 ~ Whatever you do, "Don't go to bed angry" ~

69. 'What's a person to do if they have already developed a sex addiction?'

The same principles and practices that help individuals overcome other addictions also help with overcoming sex addiction. While addictions appear to have some level of genetic and environmental component, the emotional and behavioral-based components are always greater, meaning that no addiction is impossible to learn how to manage.

70 ~ Withdrawal periods for addicts last longer than just the two weeks of normal neurochemical after-effects ~

71 ~ Shame & intense guilt produce counter-productive effects when it comes to avoiding addictive behavior ~

The heightening "risk" effect of dopamine means that individuals who engage in behavior they have been taught is shameful experience a higher dopamine release when they engage in that behavior (which then leads to a greater addictive effect). Shaming and trying to induce intense guilt in someone for succumbing to an addictive urge is then a counter-productive response. The only amount and type of remorse that is productively needed to recover is the amount that induces a change of behavior. The proper response to a partner whose addictive behaviors are actively harming yourself is to set and enforce self-protecting boundaries -- if needed, to the point of ceasing the relationship altogether. Individuals might learn of the addiction-tempering effects of oxytocin and feel that they can "love" any addiction out of their partner, but as explained, unresolved trauma (which might have been what helped trigger the addiction in the first place) can block the effects of oxytocin enough to make that not possible. Demonstrations of care and devotion can sometimes enable an addict rather than help them recover.

72 ~ Not able to feel as much benefit ~

This all means that partners with unresolved trauma might not be able to achieve as high of an oxytocin state that is experienced by others when practicing affection-focused sexuality. This also means that those who have a high imbalance of dopamine-to-oxytocin ratio will also not experience as high of an oxytocin state from affection-focused sexuality either, at least not initially. Those in the grip of a high dopamine state need a high level of stimulation in order to feel enjoyably satisfied, meaning that the slow, subtle, gentle movements of affection-focused sexuality can feel dull and platonic. Lowering one's dopamine-to-oxytocin ratio induces sensitivity to one's partner's touch, movements, and overall affection. In transitioning between orgasm-based sex to Karezza, Robinson actually recommends an initial two-week period without intercourse at all, partly in order to wait out the body's last orgasm hangover and partly to help lower the body's dopamine levels (while increasing oxytocin with massage and other non-intercourse touch.) The best results then would be achieved by also avoiding other major stimulants like caffeine, high amounts of sugar, and high amounts of "digital dopamine".

73 ~ Auto-gratification vs heroin vs sugar ~

74 ~ Historical polygamy has been used to justify child grooming & child sexual assault ~

75 ~ Pregnant teens experience higher rates of long-term health complications ~

Girls under the age of 16 who become pregnant are at higher risk of serious health complications, and teens at the ages of 16-19 who become pregnant experience higher levels of preterm birth. Even in cases in which no other health complications occur, childbirth is still considered to be torturous pain and is inherently more painful and dangerous for a girl who has not yet physically reached her full stature. This, together with the incomplete brain development experienced during one's teen years, means that teenagers should not be encouraged to jump into marriage and starting families, even in cases in which violations of chastity have been made. It also means that countries who have a legal marriage age of 18 should arguably not be encouraged to reconsider lowering their current set age, and that countries who do not have any minimum age limit should take the most recent science of teen pregnancy health into account before granting any more underage marriages. Four U.S. states do not have any minimum age limit of marriage so long as parental approval and any state-mandated court approval are obtained, and thirty-three other U.S. states have a permitted age of marriage under the legal age of 18.

Banning legal marriages between minors and legal adults is often considered as having less to do with relative intelligence or maturity and more to do with legal adult rights and privileges. Married girls under the age of eighteen who are not legally emancipated are legally barred from divorcing, they are still yet required to have an adult guardian (bearing resemblance to the women guardianship laws of Saudi Arabia), and can in some cases be classified as child runaways if they leave their husband. They are under restrictions with regards to full-time employment, are not allowed to enroll themselves for schooling, are not allowed to purchase their own vehicle or home, cannot be taken in by women's shelters, can't make certain medical decisions for themselves, and have less legal power when it comes to their own children. Allowing a minor to marry an adult without granting equal legal status to both parties can be considered unsafe for more reasons than only pregnancy complications.

It would be wise to encourage teens, both boys and girls, to spend their teen years focused on learning and practicing the skills of healthy sexual restraint, and to encourage them to not enter into any sexual relationships with anyone until they have reached the age of adulthood.

76 ~ The harmful effects of sexual depictions on developing minds ~

77 ~ Educating teens on healthy sexual dynamics is protective for them ~

Educating teens on what a healthy sexual relationship looks like is helpful to their understanding as their sexuality is developing. The nature of modern media is that unhealthy sexual dynamics and dangerous sexual activity are portrayed with ever-present frequency, meaning that by the time a young adult is of age to be making decisions regarding sexual relationships they have in many cases already had years of developing the wrong ideas about what healthy sexual relationships look like. Proactively teaching teenagers the concepts of grooming, consent, sextortion, physical boundaries, and other sexual dynamics characteristic of both healthy and unhealthy relationships at the beginning and throughout their years of sexual development not only protects them from harm during vulnerable years but also prevents them from learning the wrong types of lessons and developing unhealthy thoughts and understanding. Educating teens (especially teen girls) explicitly on the topics of date rape and on the signs of coercive abuse as soon as they are of dating age is necessary regardless of who it is they are choosing to date. Teen girls need to be informed that date rape drugs can be added to non-alcoholic drinks just the same as they can be added to alcoholic drinks.

78 ~ Tonic immobility ~

One aspect of sexual assault needing to be explicitly taught is that of tonic immobility, which is a phenomena in which someone being assaulted is physically unable to move to defend themselves. In a 'fight-or-flight' situation this would be labeled 'freeze', and in a recent study of sexual assault survivors, a full 70% reported that they experienced tonic immobility for at least a portion of their assault. Some however, experience this nervous system paralysis for the entire assault, and can occur even for women who have been previously trained to fight off an attacker. It perhaps happens in situations of sexual assault as an evolutionary protective mechanism to save a woman's life by simply allowing the assault to occur, preventing her system from moving or even speaking in order to prevent her attacker from becoming more violent from coitus interruptus-induced anger.

Those who wrote stipulations for the Law of Moses in Deuteronomy (and who claimed to be writing the words of God) evidently had no knowledge of this phenomena, as they wrote that a virgin who is bedded by a man she is not betrothed to needs to be stoned to death along with him if she wasn't heard to have called out for help. (Deuteronomy 22:23-24) Spencer W. Kimball was also apparently ignorant of the occurrence of tonic immobility as well, as he wrote in his oft-recommended book, 'The Miracle of Forgiveness' that girls and women who don't try to stop or fight off a man's sexual aggression need to also repent for sexual sin themselves.

79 ~ Higher prevalence of sexual assault among Latter-day Saint women and girls ~

While rates of sexual assault for women and girls are very high, comprising one out of every four in the general population, amongst the Latter-day Saint population it is even higher -- one out of three Latter-day Saint girls and women report having experienced being not just sexually harassed, but sexually assaulted. It would thus appear that sexual predators view Latter-day Saint women and girls as easier targets. But that is likely not the full reason, as there are plenty of non-Latter-day Saint women nowadays who are open to casual sex with strangers, who are arguably much, much easier sources for sex than Latter-day Saint women and girls.

Another part of the reason likely lies in what was described earlier as the risk-driven desires of sex-addicted dopamine seekers. As explained earlier, risky sex, including dangerous or illegal sex, produces a greater dopamine high in its seekers than sex that is safe, comforting, and trusting. While perceived naivety or vulnerability may be part of the reason for a sexual predator to target a "good church girl", it could perhaps be just as much, if not more, because he knows she does not want it. Virginity, goodness of spirit, and vows of abstinence can all contribute to make someone a more desirable victim to a sexual predator, and her telling him "no" and making unsuccessful attempts to get away can all add to his thrill.

If reading the above made you feel sick, and wish it hadn't been written, it would need to be remembered that ignorance of this reality is currently causing a high number of our Latter-day Saint sisters to be ignorant of their statistically higher danger of being sexually preyed upon. While the language I've used regarding sexual trauma and assault has been to refer to women as the victims, men and boys are not immune to becoming victims of sexual aggression. There are enough female sexual predators who intentionally seek to tempt "good Mormon guys" away from remaining chaste that Latter-day Saint men also must take serious precautions as to who they decide to date and what dating boundaries they both set and enforce.

80 ~ Sexual trauma ~

[The link between sexual trauma and hypersexuality.]

Women who experience trauma from sexual violation are often heard using words indicative of fear of death — but that should not be seen as an overreaction, as impregnation can in a very real sense bring about the circumstances of a woman's death, and even without any risk of impregnation or child birth, men who are willing to go so far as to sexually attack a woman are also at a high likelihood of willingness to commit sexual brutalization -- and even murder if they think it to be necessary to silence their victim to avoid repercussions.

81 ~ Many have developed sex addiction as a result of sexual (or other) trauma ~

82 ~ Hypersexuality being mistaken as someone's natural and unavoidable sex drive ~

83 ~ A woman's (often higher) levels of sexual hesitancy and even sexual disgust are protective ~

Women's generally perceived higher levels of hesitancy and repulsion towards polygamy, casual sex, sex with strangers, and sex with multiple partners appear to be evolutionarily protective. Women are at inherent higher risk of the consequences of sexual intercourse, as pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum circumstances even now leave a woman vulnerable to attack, illness, and death. Pregnancy can occur from intercourse with any method of barrier or hormonal birth control, and can even happen after surgical vasectomies or surgical tube-tying. In addition to this, girls and women experience high rates of sexual assault, with most assaults happen from boys or men the girl or woman knows personally. Not only this, but intimate partner violence was shown in one recent study to be experienced by one in six women. A woman's natural instinct to only be open to sexual intimacy with a partner whom she feels a sky-high degree of trust, emotional security, and safety with should not be viewed as something needing to be altered.

84 ~ Those who don't desire sexual climax on a regular basis being mistaken as having a sexual disorder ~

85 ~ Gwendolyn Wyne's sacraments ~

86 ~ Dopamine-oxytocin imbalance can happen in sexual partnerships even without conventional orgasm ~

87 ~ Long-term dopamine-oxytocin imbalance from conventional sex can lead to couples falling out of love completely ~

88 ~ The high-occurrence of dissolution of marriage when chronic illness prevents conventional sex ~

There is much evidence that can be put forward to argue that men have a more difficult time than women in relinquishing frequent sex. One piece of evidence is a recent study of 25,000 heterosexual couples that correlates to a previous study that showed when a wife suffers from long-term illness, the rate of divorce is seven times higher than when a husband suffers from long-term illness. It appears that when a wife is less able or unable to meet her husband's perceived sexual needs, divorce is seven times more likely to occur than when the husband is similarly ill.

A high-oxytocin bond can help to keep husbands and wives together even when sex is no longer a feasible option for them, and gentle affection-focused sexuality can be practiced under significantly more health and mobility constraints than orgasm-seeking sex can.

89 ~ Transitioning from orgasm-based to affection-focused sexuality involves more than simply willpower.

90.

91.

93. 'What if I'm still not yet convinced?'

Couples who are unsure of the idea of affection-focused sexuality can "experiment on the word" without cost, without long-term consequences and without side effects. Trying it out requires no long-term commitment, and a couple can always decide to revert back to orgasm-based sex whenever they choose. Couples who don't feel willing to expend the effort to try it out for themselves can still keep a post-orgasm log to record any possible orgasm-hangover effects they are experiencing, and through this come to better recognize the effects of their own fluctuating neurochemical levels.

94 ~ Further study, and further chance for personal revelation ~

Ultimately, there is far more related to human sexuality than can be contained on one web page, and so other text would need to be referred to for a more full understanding of sex addiction, Karezza, and healthy neurochemistry. Additional information specific to affection-based sexuality can be found on the Further Study page.

Also seek understanding and confirmation of the truth from the Lord in prayer, as "by the voice of the Spirit ye may know the truth of all things," and as Joseph Smith read, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him."

for Latter-day Saints